I decree, that because of the recent increase of  stalking on Xanga. I’m moving onto Myspace. You’ve got the e-mail. I’ll message the addy! I’m sorry, but I’m a dirty traitor..it’s terrible..

Love always,
Lauren

Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally
If we want
Where you can always find me
And we’ll have halloween on christmas
And in the night we’ll wish this never ends
We’ll wish this never ends

I miss you
(I miss you)

Where are you?
And I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This 6 string’s darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home
And stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight

Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you)
You’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you)

Okay parent’s insight from a teenager time!

If your children do sports, or play an instrument, NEVER PUSH THEM TO DO IT TO THE POINT THAT THEY HATE IT! Because up untill very recently, as many of you know, I jumped horses. Well, recently I had a rather bad fall, and injured my back. Well, lemme back up a little further. For the last 4 or so months people have been telling me that I need to lose weight. As some of you may or may not know, I suffer from a serious self esteem issue that makes me sink into a depression to the point that I quit eating, and cry alot, and just stop taking care of myself. Well, these last couple of weeks, ive been skipping meals and not eating because I didn’t feel like it. Because people had been telling me to lose weight..ectera..I had begun to feel like a fat old cow…And it just really made me feel like shit..And I felt so bad to the point that I began to throw up what I did eat while I was at home.

I’ve stopped throwing up now, I only did it a few times, thank God. Two weeks ago yesterday, I fell off of my horse and had a high chance of a ruptured disk in my lower back. I took off  of riding for a week, and the following Wednesday I was back out at the farm. As I was putting on my boots my Instructor told me that I would no longer be allowed to jump over two feet. This was a devestating blow. She had lost all  confidence in my abilities as a rider. And that hurt the worst of all. I kept a firm chin untill no one was looking, then I ducked into my stall and just started to cry. I clung to George’s neck and just cried my eyes out. I couldn’t stop. When the tears finally did stem and halt, I ducked into the tack room and washed my face and tried to put on a happy face. I just barely succeded.

Sunday night, I decided not to show anylonger. I’m not having fun jumping anymore, people are putting way the hell to much pressure on me to be AMAZING at something that it’s just not fun. I’ve lost interest and i’m so upset about it i’m crying while i’m typing it. Everytime someone’s mentioned the words HorseShow. I’ve nearly cried, because i’m not good enough to show anymore. I’ve become such a fat ugly cow, that I can’t even ride well anymore. I’m more miserable now, than I was when I was in trouble at WM. I’m beginning to think mabey I should just selll George, but I just couldn’t bare to part with him. After all, he’s the only nonjudgemental friend I have left. And I mean, WILL NEVER QUESTION MY REASONING type. He’s the only thing in my whole life that makes me feel so happy that I’m alive, and walking. If I didn’t have George in my life, I would have falen apart a long time ago. I just don’t know quite what to do about all of this. But, I just thought i’d pour my heart out to a captive audience like Xanga. But i’ve gotta get a nap before I go out to the barn.I’m gone

As always,

Much love

Lauren

XANGA I HAVE NOT FORSAKEN THEE! lol yeah, I got a Myspace, and a Facebook..so i’m kinda skipping around between the three. It’s fun. But then, top it off with a little school work, and there lies the problem.Curse you Internet Addiction. BUT! my myspace account is

http://www.myspace.com/rarebooksarelove

GO AND ADD ME! lol

FACE!!!!!!!!!

First of all, I just wanna say, to all of you parents and future parents. Try not to take what your kids say so wildly out of context. I’m so tired of my parents constantly asking me to describe what things I say mean. And then, when I do, they spazz and tell you never to say it again and to go to your room. ITS NOT COOL! So, just a bit of a rant for the evening, so i’m out.

Lauren

I’ve been up since 5:45..and completely wired! haha, thank you nickelback!

I think I’ll take the long road home
Lauren E. O’Neal

Why can’t I face the things I fear the most?
What happened to the confident girl I knew this summer?
Where did she go? Why did she leave?
I guess it’s just between me, you, and the road.

I think i’ll take the long road home tonight.
I think i’ll let these feelings blow right out the window.
Because it’s just me and the road, and it’s the only way I know.
Between me you and the road.

I just can’t handle the things I face at home.
The fights and the screaming,
I just look out the window.
I can’t seem to face the things churning inside.
So i’ll just keep that between me you and the road.

I think i’ll take the long road home tonight
I think i’ll let these feeling blow right out the window.
Because it’s just me and the road, and it’s the only way I know.
I’ll keep this, right between me you and the road.

Thats all for now. mabey i’ll finnish it later
Lauren

Today was officially off the charts amazing and beautiful. I won, and thats the important thing. Most of you would know what I was talking about if i just said Liquids..and besides, no need to go into the fact that I BEAT THE FRO! lol. Gotta love it.

On another note, I LOVE LTJ more than ever now. I’ve been listening to their new song and I LOVE IT! oh my gosh. Its just so sweet. But my computers sapzzing out on me. So i’ll have to end this here!

As always, Much love,
Lauren.

P.S. You guys really stink on comments! Thanks to those of you that did comment! lol

Love!, Lauren

Okay guys, I want a completely honest answer.
1)If you only had three days left to live, what would you do?

2)Would you cry?

3)Would you wish it wasn’t you?

I know what i’d do..

1) I’d go skydiving, and finally speak my mind. i’d go back to Japan and go up to Mt.Fuji, and look down over the beautiful land that is Japan. I’d walk the streets of Tokyo, and have truly FRESH sushi..I just wanna do that once more before I die.

2) At first, but then i’d be fine with it, death is something you can’t change, only embrace.

3)No, because when all is said and done, I know where I’m going.

As always, Much love

Lauren

Okay, friday right after French Class, I came home got luggage and my dog, then gas and headed for Shreveport on a Solo mission. I drove to Benton LA for a Horse show. Which I couldn’t ride at..talk about depressing..But i was glad I finally got to watch from the sidelines, not the bench. It was a good change. umn..Nothing special really, got home last night at about 7:20 sat around, wrote for a while. Played Final Fantasy XI, I leveled Flick…If anyone plays, lemme know, I haven’t got my party flag up but I am lookin. lol talk about a double anotandra! lol well, I’m outta crap to say.. SO HERE ARE SOME SONG LYRICS!
These have been stuck in my head since Thursday…

Lips Of An Angel
Hinder

Honey why you calling me so late
It’s kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can’t be too loud
Well, my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue
Well my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late

And these since yesterday
Nickelback
Next Contestant

I judge by what she’s wearing
Just how many heads I’m tearing
Off of assholes coming onto her
(Each night seems like it’s getting worse)
And I wish she’d take the night off
So I don’t have to fight off
Every asshole coming onto her
(It happens every night she works)

They’ll go and ask the DJ
To find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
(Don’t they know it’s never going to work?)
They think they’ll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
(This time somebody’s gettin’ hurt)

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant

And I even fear the ladies
They’re cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming onto her
(Don’t they know it’s never going to work?)
And each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody’s grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming onto her
(This time somebody’s gettin’ hurt)

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant

I’m hating what she’s wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can’t wait til they get what they deserve
This time somebody’s gettin’ hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you’d do it again (I’ll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you’d do it again (each night seems like it’s getting worse)
And I wish you’d do it again (this time somebody’s gettin’ hurt)
There goes the next contestant